You can never imagine how your life changes when you go to the doctor and he tells you “you have cancer and it looks like stage 4”. Your first thought is where is it and how did I get it? “Well it isn’t good, your cancer is in the pancreas and it’s pretty big. The only answer is to get chemotherapy and hope.”

Your first thought is well cut it out. Let’s get started right now. Call the surgeons call the specialist. He has to be the best had multiple surgeries of this type under his belt, as many notches on his scalpel in the 1000’s. Maybe radiation or anything to get rid of the horrifying demon.

Well then you go through all the stages of depression. First you say “no why me? Why am I being punished? Why am I chosen for this this devastating diagnosis? Then you pray for a cure. There has to be something, someone, some expert, some chemical, some pill. Well, it turns out no on all these questions.

Well, I have that diagnosis. Have had surgery and two rounds of chemotherapy. Lots of scans and they all turn out to be worse than the first. Pray daily for some good news but there seems to be none.

Right now, I feel pretty good, my apatite is better and improving daily. But I still have chemo once a week t=for two weeks and one week off. Days of chemo I get sick but improve quickly it is to my advantage. Weight gain and loss is an issue also, but luckily, I am stable.

God willing, I will live for many more months, but GOD is the deciding decision in the scheme of all the matters.

Sob story I know but I had to get it off my chest.